Unconscious Power and Wisdom, Rituals, Mysteries, Secrets....
at first when I kept drawing this card I was a little scared, its not the type of picture you want to see in your darkest hours, but as you will see, this is a blessing I wish upon no one and everyone at the same time.
We find her through meditation, in sleep, and within inner peace, ecstasy and total despair. It is the dark lady who passes with us through the night of endings and death, whether of the body or of the soul. It is she who holds and guides us as we reconceive ourselves and prepare to be born anew.
I sleep with this card stuck next to my pillow and today I did a meditation with her to try and understand this fear that sits in my body like a cowardly poison, not willing to show its face and not willing to go either.
I wrote down what happened in my meditation, and thought that seeing as it was such a moving story for me that I would paint a little story board and share it with you all.....
So here we go...
I see my fear, I feel it as a swirling chaos, spinning me to the right, so strong I can feel my body leaning into it, turning, turning, turning for the longest time....
I slow down at a huge stage with curtains of red velvet with gold all around, the curtains slowly open and in front of me is darkness with golden stairs. I walk to the top....
I am in total blackness all around with no depth perception in any direction. This is it...I had been waiting for months for my chance to jump into fear and here it is, so I jump....I fall but turn myself over so Im falling backwards, 'turn over' Im told 'and see your fear'....Oh phoowey!...I gently come to a halt and am standing in front of a red door....
Im hesitant and stand, deep breath, a bit scared of what behind, I open...There is a rush of love and light, beauty, and magic, its a garden....
a garden so lush and so warm, light and sunny, all the animals are sleepy and content, its what I imagine the garden of Eden to be. It is absolute happiness and peace and the temperature is the happiest I have ever felt, so comfortable...I walk in looking and feeling such awe and relaxation running over me. Is this heaven??....
India comes running up to me, she is in a pretty yellow dress, 'Mummy your here!' I pick her up and hug her and I love her so much I cry, both in my story and as I sit and meditate.....
Kelly comes walking behind..we have a peaceful hug that is such pure love it dosent need any words spoken...
We all walk together in the beautiful nature and the warmth, India tells me 'Mummy theres something here for you'...We come to a long rainbow shaped table, on it are things.... my talents....paintbrushes, needle and thread, paint, spoons, swords, goblets, hammer, plants, sticks, rocks, so many things..it goes on and on...
I get worried, I dont want to choose, I want them all, I cant choose just one... 'you dont have to choose mummy' says Indi..'these are all you talents, you have them all'.... I stand looking at them and cry, I do have them all....
'You just need to remember the love, light, beauty and magic in everything, that is why you are here,.... that is why we are here together'
'Live In The Light Mummy...Live In The Light'
She is jumping in the air....
We are all together, holding hands, walking thru the plants towards an orb of pure light, we all walk into the light together and dissipate into warmth and love....x
As you can imagine by the end of this I was an absolute mess, I had to write it down as fast as I could because I didnt want to forget one word, not one beautiful word my little angel spoke to me....
So you see, when things are all going smoothly we enjoy life but seem to learn very little, we are too busy enjoying. I am trying to use my 'Dark Lady' time the best I can, to learn as much as I can about my reason for being....
Meditation rocks, I never really understood it before, I feel its important to record as much as you can about a session, it will always be helpful.
Im up to a very useful part of my 'Empowering Awakening Angels' book, its about how to find your true lifes purpose. heres how
First you need to trust yourself, you need to empty your mind of all the false purposes you have been taught, which includes the idea that you may have no pupose at all. The more open you are to this process, the more you expect it to be successful, the faster it will work for you.
Do this alone and with no interruptions.
a. Take a sheet of paper and write at the top, "What is my pupose in life?"
b. Write any answer that pops into your head.
c. Repeat this process until you write that answer that makes you cry.
This is your purpose.
It will take about 15 to 20 minutes to clear your head of conditioned thoughts and false answers, you will feel your true answer come from somewhere far deeper, it may seem silly but keep going till you write something that makes you emotions surge. wanting to give up is part of the process and push on, you may get mini surges but something that dosent make you cry, underline them but keep going, they reflect a piece of your purpose and you are getting closer.
let me know how you go..
I know I was gonna blog constantly but you know......its winter here, nothing much to feel like blogging about, hope your all stinking hot in the northern hemisphere, Im so over wearing clothes and shoes!!!
wishing you many happy meditations and life pupose writings
xxx
Sheree
3 Things I love
1. that a lady saw me today for the first time in ages and said "I heard you've been sick" as she spun her finger around at the side of her head!! sheesh small towns, so its official, Im mental! haha what can you do but laugh!
2. winter sunrises
3. Hand Sewing xxx Im refinding my love for it!
