Wild Womans Journey on Self Love

For Wild Woman Journey Intro & Info Click HERE

How often do we look outside ourselves to measure the amount of love we are feeling within? We spend our time analyzing relationships, testing how much our partners do for us to measure the amount of love between us, popularity keeps us high and full of love, you feel like your soaring, but then we are incredibly insecure and paranoid when it feels its gone, how do we be loved by everyone, why aren't we as needed as someone else, how can I get invited to everything my friends do?

If I have just one more person to love me then I will be happy, If my partner just loved me a bit more I would feel so much more worthy, I would feel...complete

We are all guilty, at some time we have done these things. We need to not make the mistake of looking to another person to make us feel lovable or worthwhile. This is our responsibility, no one else's. Our capacity for loving another person depends entirely on our capacity for loving ourselves, and taking care of ourselves. How can we ask those we love to give us what we are not prepared to give to ourselves. It is impossible and sets our relationships up to always fail. Do you have a long line of relationships that were lacking in helping you feel loved??

When we take charge of our happiness and go within everything changes.

Firstly you need to accept yourself just the way you are.

You are perfect.... you are YOU and that is all you need to be.

Unconditionally accept your past decisions and everything you have chosen to experience because it is something unique to you and is part of your path. Remember we are all on different paths so do not judge yourself and your achievements according to others and theirs, no matter how rosey they may look. If your lacking in self love it complicates your personality more than you may think, people can feel it, you know who I'm talking about, those 'messy' people. There needs to be a point where you stop splitting yourself in two, the outside you and the inside you, it is an exhausting game that will eventually have you burning out with your fake personality collapsing, it is a lot of misdirected energy and all that energy can be put into taking care of and loving yourself just as you would love and care for another person. There is enough love to go around, share some with your own heart.

A key to loving yourself is to stop trying to be someone for everyone else, you need to be someone for yourself. Once you truly love yourself, you will no longer hunger for appraisal, you wont need to be accepted by anyone else to feel like you are worthy.

So how do we get there, to this self love state??? simple and hard really. A lot of people do not even realize they are in a non love state with themselves, all their feelings are viable and its everyone else's fault for the way they feel. When you feel worst about yourself, you also feel most disconnected from other people, you feel the love has been cut off from you for some reason, you feel a victim of situations you cant control, which brings up a whole lot of other undesirable feelings. With self love you will be much less vulnerable to resenting other peoples happiness, or to feeling jealousy or envy for not being involved in their super world of big love.

Try this test of self love to see just how comfortable you are with the feeling of accepting yourself. Stand in front of the mirror, just your face will do, nice and close. Look into your eyes, wait until you feel really aware that you are there, look yourself in the eye and say "I Love You" "I Love You Just The Way You Are" "I Love Everything About You" "I Love You" "I Love You" "I Love You" over and over again until you feel comfortable and honest. Most will stop and have a quivery lip for a bit, its very confronting. The results show us that we are always willing to project our intense love onto others but what about the true love being projected onto ourselves, not always comfortable is it? Feels a bit weird maybe? even embarrassing? How wrong does that sound, If you cannot love yourself then who can you really love? How can we be giving out real love if this is how we feel about ourselves. I also use my shower time to shower myself in love and acceptance, wash and praise your body at the same time, loving it, something like this "I love my arms, I love my arms, I love my breasts, I love my breasts, I love my stomach, I love my stomach" as you wash over the body parts state that you love them. Feel genuine thanks that you have them, also praise your inside parts too, your heart, lungs, brain, kidneys. It is the gratitude that sends the love flowing, and you glowing.

Giving NO a Go. This was the biggest start to self love for me. Is saying yes and all that trying getting you the loving feeling you so desire??? No not really, so start to say no to the things you don't really need to be doing, or things that you instantly feel a little unsure about, even if you cant stretch to a No, try a 'think about it' for a while and see if no grows on you. Sure you will miss out on a little praise but it goes no where to your overall happiness in the end if you are not in self love. If you do have self love, you will feel no love lost or gained, just serenity in your freeing decision. So the theme here is do less for others and more for yourself and get more love! It does work, people do not mind it when you say no, they will understand, of course this is not stretching to neglect of others or responsibility, its saying no to the things that will no longer be fitting into your new personality. We cant always change and still be caught in the same routines.

The social hole we feel with low self love needs work too, the fear of missing out is huge and it seems that no amount of popularity and praise gets us to the top, compliments stay high for a small amount of time, no one is filling the gap, if only I had one more friend, someone who I could really connect with then I could be really happy, the one more friend pit, the one more follower on your blog, one more comment, one more sale of your art. You are giving your happiness away to a group of people who will never be able to satisfy you, no matter how hard they try, they have been set up for failure. To let go of this type of non love we need to understand that this is a type of Loneliness, that we are trying to overcompensate for. There is a difference with being alone and being lonely, they are very very different. Learn to appreciate time with YOU. Self love helps you feel satisfied with the smallest amount of social interaction, a wonderful day alone can be so rewarding when you are enough, alone, and then any other wonderful interactions on top of this are bonuses, and you appreciate everyone of them individually instead of stockpiling them into the great abyss of the social hole. You will even find yourself turning down invitations and saying No just because you would rather hang out at home for some peaceful time. Crossing over is a wonderful feeling.

What does this now mean for our partners, husbands, friendships and families. It can sometimes feel hard to gain your self love when you are involved with others who will not be joining you. Never fear just move ahead with your progress, you will find that their moods, temperaments and beliefs will begin to affect you less and less as your confidence and inner world grow. You will still love them as before, but expect less from them so the interaction becomes a much healthier one. Their actions affect only themselves. Naturally all balance has to be restored so if you change, you will see others around you change.

And what about finding new love, friendships or partnerships?

If you come into new relationships with a strong sense of self and of the qualities you have, then you come to it ready to give and receive love. The simplest key to creating a balanced relationship is to try to live day by day, helping each other and being good to each other, but do not confuse habit and comfort with love, sure they are nice but love brings risks and transformation, habit and comfort just create a smaller world, one that is easier to control, and since when has control been a fun experience? To love and be loved is to feel the warmth of serenity and the absence of fear. Love comes to us to help us remember life and all its possibilities for a new way of being. " Love is the supreme, the ultimate expression of humanity and the path for which all other paths are but preparation."

Let your inner compass come back to where it belongs, with your own true self. Full of self love and acceptance and standing peaceful in the knowledge that you are enough, just as you are. Xxx

So lets look again at what you can do...

* Accept yourself as good enough just as you are


* Stop splitting yourself, come back to your inner self


* Mirror love and gratitude


* Shower love and gratitude


* Give NO a go


* Learn to appreciate alone time, loneliness vs alone


* Understand balanced love

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Spread The Love Challenge

One thing we like to do often is 'spread the love'.

We go out into public and make little hearts from natural materials and leave them for people to find.   Leaves, stones, shells and flowers.  Who knows if people ever see these creations or recognise them, but my hope is that it puts a smile on their face, and seeing a heart makes them instantly register they have a heart.  Who knows? its a mystery but still I do it.

So this week I went to a place I know alot of people will be, in front of the park.  I did a chalk drawing on the pavement for people to read and hopefully get them thinking. 

If you dont have the leisure time I did to do something large without anyone really noticing then something as simple as a heart will do.  One day Im going to hide in the bushes to watch passers by, like a stalker? No!... but like a researcher? Yes!

So spread the love and get people to remember the most important thing in their busy frantic days. 

*IT'S STILL LOVE*

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Affirmations

The Power Of Changing Thought Patterns

I will always give these out on the first day of a new topic so you can have 2 weeks to use them.  So these are the affirmations I have chosen. Choose only one to write down every night 10x, and put the others you like on cards to stick around your house and read aloud when you randomly walk past every day.

* I am a living, loving, joyous expression of life. I am my own person

* I deserve and accept the very best in life, I love and approve of myself

* I am powerful, safe and secure

* I am a divine expression of life

* I love and accept myself where I am right now

* I now discover how wonderful I am, I am at peace with myself

* I choose to love and enjoy myself

* I rejoice in my own expression of life

* I am perfect just as I am and love and approve of myself

These will all help you with changing the way you accept yourself to totally loving yourself just as you are.

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Hope this helps you in your self love journey

In the next post...

Art Tutorial and Wild Woman Challenge

Much Love to you all

please comment and post about your experiences

xxx

Sheree